Born on Dec 5th you say?

Hello hello everyone. So here i sit, in the home of world renowned author Harold Stephens (the last man to successfully DRIVE around the world, made and sailed a boat from concrete, etc), it's sunday night, 30 degrees celcius (85 degrees to the Yanks), it's a damp heat, but not sticky. Today i bought a Ralph Lauren shirt for 350 baht ($10). The past three or four days have been kinda laxed, just resting and taking in Bangkok's lighter side. Gone are the marathon 15 hour tours and tour-van rides, the overnight trains, the commuter flights, and the farongs. Here, in the Samsen Nai district, it's Thai people in large 6 bedroom Thai houses with high walls, large lawns, koi ponds, rabbits, and apartments that make condos overlooking central park look like wretched hovels. Three mansion compounds housing diplomats, business barons, and the occasional 83 y/o elephant riding author.

This is Modern Thailand.

it's quiet. we are less than a 12 min walk from the BTS (Thai BART) and yet you never hear it. Someone down the neatly paved road in between two large trees has set up a full service restaurant in their front yard (Restaurant 89). They use couches and modern looking backyard furniture as tables and chairs, and serve authentic Thai food to anyone in the neighborhood. You see, there are no zoning laws, no power-tripping old guys to tell you what to do (home owners associations), so if you have the space and money, you can set up a small store or serve food in your garage if you so choose. "But Patrick, what if you get sick, who do you sue?" simple, don't eat where you think you can get sick (a little right-wingy, i know, but it works here). And even if you do get sick, go to the hospital and (gasp) get fixed for about the same cost as your meal, if any.

The major thing me and Sage noticed about everyday life here is that you can touch things. You can look at stuff. You can ask a stranger for help, and yes they will help you. You can even ask in English, and wow, they'll understand you. There are no signs and warnings everywhere you go displaying the results of past law suits. You can sit on the grass, try something before you buy it (from headphones, to cars, to cribs, to food). Everything isn't locked up with a sign telling you how to react to it. Strollers can go on escalators, nobody stares when your baby cries, people don't look at you or follow you or turn their nose up at you in stores with $20000 watches.

My favourite part? I haven't heard one thing about bradd pitt, angelina jolie, harrison ford, britney spears, lady gaga, or any other truly worthless person. The news here is the news, it's the weirdest thing! They actually talk in-depth about world events! The CNN is the international version which has some sort of ban on celebrity reporting, the BBC only mentions them in brief passing and the Thai News Network has nothing to say of them either. There are 5 different music video channels that actually show music videos and NO REALITY TV.

Get this, i haven't heard the word "rape" in 4 freaking weeks.

I counted at home once, and on average i heard it 10 times a day, 10 times! In commercials even! Words like rape, molested, brutally killed, "insert over-the-top-gory movie title here" style murders. These words aren't blasted at you every 10 minutes in between forcing you buy something to prop up the economy. You know what? everyone here has a job. From people directing how you park to prevent fender-benders, to police at every major intersection, to a guy who stands on the BTS platform helping people get on and off the train safely. The point is, if there is a task needing completion, they're willing to pay a human to do it. The staggering amount of construction going on is enough to keep anyone who can swing a hammer employed for the next 30 years! Everywhere you look buildings are going up, storefronts are being renewed, roads are being maintained, mass transit is expanding, taxis are zipping by, people at carts are selling everything from live rabbits in dresses to Burberry knock-offs to meat-on-sticks (my fav) to bootleg movies that make that guy at the barbershop's look like someone spit on the camera lens and then filmed a copy of the movie.

My point is that Thailand as a whole is ahead of the western world in ways not aloud to be dreamed of at home. Not once has someone frowned at me for smiling at them, and not once have i been "politely reminded" to make sure i purchase something in exchange for watching TV (American football, live, and without commercials has changed my life). Thailand has some of the most beautiful and vibrant jungles and unspoiled countryside you will ever see. And yet, the mega-city of Bangkok has pot-hole free asphalt as far as the city limits, 40 and 50 story buildings poke up between the massive parks and open areas. 4 malls, each the size of a NYC city block, and hundreds more half that size. I love this country and can only hope anyone reading this will come and fall in love as well.

-p

Sorry bout the length and depth but i needed to full this up with something since i cannot at present post pix, thanx.

**author's note: due to ongoing country-wide celebrations of the king and the constitution (he was born on 5 Dec and it on 10 Dec) amongst other things, our flight is delayed until thursday the 17th**

Your coffee is violence

hey hey hey, so, as it turns out, one of our troupe members has lost a family member to the cold hands of death. They are now on their way home to grieve and reflect on what was, and I will remain here, in the land of the truly free. Sadly, with the loss of these particular members also goes my access to a laptop i can put pictures on for posting. However, i will continue posting my findings in downtown Bangkok over the next 8 days, with pictures if possible. Today was spent getting a hotel room, getting our stuff and enjoying the largest mall in southeast Asia. As a side note, yes, i ate a cockroach, and yes they taste like fuji apples; Thailand is amazing. Here are some random pix of the greatest place on earth!!

Some of the pix include: Erawan Waterfalls, Me eating fried duck durry (melts your mouth and your hands), Eating a cockroach, Thai northern countryside, Phuket scenes, Paragon Mall, Sebastian's new girlfriend. Also guess which one is the Monitor Lizard Stew....

ttyl -P

Phuket: a study in capitalism

So, here we are. Back in Bangkok, full of amazing thai food from restaurant 72 off of Lat Prao Road. Between six people we killed 7, count em, 7 2 litre bottles of Singha beer.

Phuket Thailand was.......well, it was. I hate resorts. I hate overpriced, poorly cooked food at resorts and resort towns. I hate paying to do nothing, when I can do nothing at home. I hate areas of a country where no one speaks the native language b/c they're so used to English. In a sense, you could say I hate Phuket.

But, if you like burgers, spaghetti and pizza (none of which i ate) with Thai and Australian grown ingredients and cooking styles, overpriced poorly tailored suits, over aggressive loud-mouthed swill-peddlers then yeah! Phuket is for you! Don't get me wrong though, some of the most impressively beautiful sights, beautiful women, perfect weather, hot jazz (yes, that's right) and amazing water (80 degree water temp? you gotta be kidding me!). Down below is some pix of the hot jazz in Phuket City, and the beach where it costs $4 an hour per chair! yay! also, it turns out the beaches were clothing optional which, for about 10% of the time, was kind of awesome? You see, for every one beautiful, long haired, Italian, Brazilian, or French woman walking around in her birthday suit, there were about 1000 fat, sweaty, sunburnt, peeling Italian, Brazilian, or French guy, in a thong with buttocks resembling two hippos fighting over the same yard of cloth. yeah.

Booyeah

as promised, here is the end to the griping, and the beginning of the bug eating!!

yeah so last time i posted pix, the format came out all wonky so starting from the beach pic down, We have bamboo worm fried rice (video to follow) then me at the Thai Farm Cooking School (an organic farm in Chiang Mai that offers cooking classes) cooking silk worm Pad Thai (yummmm)

Also i have posted a video of me at a market purchasing the insects in question (crickets, grasshoppers, locusts, silk worms, at the bottom).

By far the grasshoppers were the best. They were light and crispy, not unlike pork rinds. The Locusts tasted a bit woody, like baby portobello/shitake mushrooms. The crickets tasted like nothing at all, and the silkworms were soft and chewy, but not nasty. Eating the silkworms was like eating those little peeps

(marshmallow ducks) after theyve been in the microwave for 30 seconds, but they tasted like soy sauce and peanuts.

Well, thats all for now, next post i eat monitor lizard stew, bird's nest drink, and Phuket Lobster!! Wooooooooooooo!!!